Or as I like to call it, the tearview mirror. My past is complicated. I remember once hearing “everyone has a chapter they do not read out loud”. Well, I have many. The parts I wish to keep unspoken, and not for the reasons you think. I am the girl you see here. The one who writes feelings, who tries to show you that there is always another chance, the one who doesn’t give up. I wasn’t always like this.
I was the competitive gymnast. The girl who walked better on her hands than she did on her feet. The girl who loved homework (and still does). The girl with the rock collection. The girl who had a secret club with her siblings (hi sissy!). The girl who worked 3 jobs at 16. The girl who applied only to one college (and luckily got in). That girl who had not a care in the world… and then the girl who ceased to exist.
If you asked me my biggest wish 15 years ago, I would tell you it was to become an attorney, to be successful, to make the world know my name. Fast forward… if you asked me my biggest wish 14 years ago, it would have been to disappear.
Coming to terms with the unexpected things life throws at you, it is possible. It is a process, an ongoing one, with many ups and downs along the way. On some days, I am still coming to terms with it. But most days, I remind myself of how it has built me. You don’t know how strong you can be, until strong is all you have.
The parts I wish to keep unspoken, and not for the reasons you think. Because I am proud of who I am now. And that’s what I want you to see.
She held the world in her hands.
She had stars in her eyes.
A life full of potential
met nightmare in disguise.
The world closed in upon her
in a moment of pure chance.
And bequeath this wolf
with which she’s forced to dance.
Spinning round in circles
and years of public eye,
exiled into shadows
to hide her desperate cry.
Reaching for the mountains
and barely making stride,
she begins to teeter,
no handrail by her side.
Her own two legs beneath her
could not support the weight,
and like a house of cards,
she fell to a new fate.
Love love love your words yes some of us have many chapters that we have locked alway to never be read. Instagram is a new avenue on the cyber highway for me so forgive me for not having much of a presence. In saying that there are ideas floating swirling round which I endeavour to bring to fruition. Looking forward to following your journey pondering your words and hopefully in time sharing some of my own.
Give thought to this I am building a platform and rallying like minded folk to create Warrior Women in time this will include Urban warriors teaching those that have stumbled to get back up those that have been knocked down to rise those that face adversity to have resilience and durability and become warriors because the battle never stops it may externally and we may live in peace but the battle is constant within.
With light love and friendship
Matt Michaelis
Thank you for taking the time to read this and connect.