what’s in it for me?

Hello everyone! It has been a while.  Too long.   I have been thinking a lot lately, too much, in fact, about something that seems relevant in every aspect of life.  We know those famous words “do to others as you would have them do to you.”  But, how many of us actually practice this?

We have all done it; fallen victim to rumors, been part of the rumor mill, hopped on the gossip train, shit talked, been shit talked about, etc.  In 8th grade, there was a rumor that I stuffed my bra.  It’s funny looking back because I was flatter than flat chested.  But, the entire grade heard this rumor and the jokes were eternal.  It was traumatizing at the time and I ended up defending my AA-cup for a month and becoming quite a loner for a period of time because of it.  People can be mean and cruel and at the end of the day, rumors hurt.  This rumor was completely out of left field, and clearly began with mal intent.  Not all gossip works this way.  Sometimes, we just like to chat and in doing so, things can spread around that maybe are not meant to be.  Sometimes, things are overheard that shouldn’t be.  Sometimes, we say things in anger or frustration that maybe we shouldn’t.  Regardless, it happens and in doing so we may say less than nice things about people.  We may hear things about people and tell our friends.  People talk, and sometimes, they shit talk.  And, they also get shit talked about.  But, whether it is a false rumor or gossip that is true, the point stays the same:

“What’s in it for me?”  Really.  When we talk badly about others, what’s in it for us?  Momentarily, perhaps, you feel satisfied.  But feelings don’t change when we talk poorly about others.  In fact, we often feel hurt when others do it to us, so then why do we go back and do it to others?  There is nothing to gain by having others agree with you or validate your opinion.  It is better to be better.  It isn’t easy.  But, at the end of the day you will not like everyone and everyone will not like you.  However, there need not be a competition.   We don’t live our lives to satisfy others.  Just be the best you.  And the best you, isn’t the person talking badly about others even if maybe they talked badly about you.

I do not know

who I will be tomorrow,

or the next day.

I do not know

what obstacles

will be thrown my way.

My yesterdays

are filled with mistakes,

I must confess.

But now I learned

that each coming day

I will be my best.

 

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